"I Know What You did Last Semester!"

10... 9... 8... It's here... 7... 6... 5... It's time to bounce back and show those nerds what I am capable of... 4... 3... It's time for a moral renaissance... 2... 1... 0 "HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011", I shouted out sitting in front of the TV and watching the new year countdown in a channel. It was the last week of December and I had been doing nothing for the past 10 days except for playing a simple but addictive game called Plants vs Zombies. It's just this: You have to protect your house from a bunch of Zombies and for that you use plants as weapons. "I had been very bad last semester", I told myself. "But I can pull myself together and bounce back." "I know what you did last semester", told my mind. "You are a useless bloody bugger. You cannot change yourself." "I will show you some change next semester. I will prove you wrong."

It was August 2010. I was proud that I had been attending almost all classes. Then came this damn test 1 series. Six days... Five tests... That changed my entire semester. After successfully screwing up almost each one of them, I came to the conclusion that there is no point attending all classes. Then the BITSian inside me tempted me to bunk classes. So, my daily routine was reduced to waking up late at 10 or 11, sitting aimlessly in front of my laptop, having lunch and dinner and going to Raag room and hardly attending any classes.

Then came test 2, with even more vigour. It helped me successfully seal my fate that I wont be making a GPA of even 7 that semester. The degradation was complete. I totally bunked all classes. I tried to do night-outs that proved to be worse than the idea of bunking classes. Deprived of sleep, and getting momentarily frozen everyday in a horrible winter, I faced compres with little hope that I would avoid a D grade in one of the most dreaded courses called "Intro. to topology".

I almost passed out worrying about my CGPA at that time. Compres were no better than the other tests. But a couple of night-outs ensured that I would get 2 B's and 4 C's securing a semester GPA of 6.67 that would make my CGPA to 7.81, falling from 8.05 by 0.24 units. "Now that 2011 is here, it's time to start afresh." After planning out this semester roughly and concluding that I need to get a GPA of more than 9.14 this semester, I am preparing myself to face a mammoth task of making amendments to the damage I made. I'll always remember what I did last semester...

Diwali!

Come Diwali, the festival of lights, it is all about the joy of sharing and having fun bursting crackers. It being my favourite festival, I never missed the celebrations even a single year, even while I was away from home for Diwali for the first time last year. And it promised to be as exciting as ever this time as it fell on the 5th of November.

It was 6:17am and I got a call from Yudha. I suddenly gave a jerk and woke up, "Merlin's beard! What am I doing?!" I was supposed to be there at the central lawns (C-Lawns) at 6am with a part of the crackers that was there with me. So, I hurriedly got up, answered the call, "Ya, ya... I am there in 5 minutes", and then got into my pants rushing into the bogs (common bathroom). Then, I got a call from home as expected. "Take head bath, dear", advised my mom as expected. "Haan, haan", I replied while I was thinking, "Damn it! I don't even have the time to brush my teeth right now. I shall have to rush."

"Jenishta bul hocchey", I muttered to myself and so did Pras as we were playing a sick game called 1up-1down on the eve of Diwali. Apparently it means, "The thing is going wrong" in Bengali and I began using it frequently since I learnt it (not that things have been going fine before I did so). The rule of the game is this: you play it till you find out how it is played. WTH?! Sounds exciting isn't it? But, it didn't for me. And that's why I suck at it.

We decided to meet at C-Lawns at 6am the next day to burst crackers and parted. Judee decided to come to my room and watch 'Enthiran - The Robot' that night. It was about 2:30am when we were done with it. Excited about the coming morning, I set my cellphone's alarm clock to 5:30am and slept off. The alarm rang at 5:30am and I slowly opened my eyes too. I was staring at it constantly, may be for a minute or so. There was a rush of adrenaline inside me. The alarm was ringing... Because, this is going to be one hell of a day. The alarm was still ringing... We had lots of crackers to burst. The alarm was still going on... We will spend sometime in connaught place for dinner. It was still going on... Then we will be bursting bombs that go off in the sky and give brilliant colours. This time I stopped the alarm. The next thing I remember was the call from Yudh at 6:17am.

It was about 6:20am by the time I got into the bogs talking with people from home. My little brother was excited as to what crackers I have. "Is it a flower pot that you lit just now?", he asked. "No, I am peeing", I replied. After talking to the whole lot of people at home, I just took the bag of agarbathis and 600 wala that I had and rushed towards C-Lawns. "This is it!", I thought. "Diwali's here!"

A whole lot of people would be there, that includes people from raag (my club) and all the illads (tamil speaking people are called illads in BITSian lingo). I ran to the middle of the lawns and then noticed that it was deserted. What the hell was going on? Then I called Yudha. He told me that he is on his way. "Damn it! I came here running at 6:25am in the morning. I didn't even shit", I muttered to myself.

I went back to the wing, brushed my teeth, took bath (sprinkling some water on my head too to get the satisfaction of taking a head bath). After completing all morning rituals, I went to C-Lawns. Almost everyone was there. We started off with a mini atom bomb and went on to burst many of them and many others too. Initially, seeing the pathetic way in which the crackers were bursting, Shravan exclaimed, "I can spit louder than them." Even I thought, "Ya, I can fart louder than them!"

Dinner in connaught place in the evening was followed by a concluding round of bursting of crackers, particularly the 600 wala one and the fireworks that burst in sky. Judee was putting enthu with vengaya vedi (literally translates to 'onion crackers' from Tamil). Thanks to Shravan, Nammu, Preethi, Yudh, Neeraja, Judee, Ashwin and Juju, my Diwali was a wonderful one this year.

The night out

BANG! BANG! I knocked at my wingees' doors at 8:15am in the morning. Irritated because of getting rudely awaken so early, they opened their doors to find a smiling me proudly declaring, "I did a night out!" Much to add to their frustration, I asked if they are attending classes that day. Little did I realise in my excitement that their minds would have been picturing me getting thrown out of the Bhawan bashing the grill gates and getting landed right on top of the redi directly opposite to our wing.

My excitement was short-lived, as I sat staring blankly at the question paper after sometime in the exam hall. Then there was a sudden rush of adrenaline inside me as I spotted a few theorems that I had sleepily encountered during the course of the night out. I started writing out the proof and a few lines were over. Then the internal machinery experienced a black out. Working my mind backwards, I had realised that a few hours back I was dozing by the time I was at the fourth line of the proof. “Nah, this is not gonna help”, I thought and moved on to the next question. There was some progress, giving some scope for more partial marks. But yet again it was the same story. “All right!”, I thought. “It would be a nice idea to look into the progress of my night out to kill time.”

It was the last day of Oasis 2010. The feeling of Insomnia which was the theme for this International cultural festival organised by BITS-Pilani was never going to leave the minds of BITSians. But, there was only one day before getting used to the usual college life and to add to my misery, I had a test the first day after the end of Oasis holidays. So, to keep the spirit of Insomnia ablaze I decided to go for a night out that day.

I actuallt set out to ghot at about 10am in the morning with Sandy. Not even an hour had passed when I declared, “Yaar, dimaag kharab ho gaya. I am gonna sleep.” Then it was a long break till the evening. Kesh, my ghot-mate returned from home on the last day of Oasis holidays late in the evening. “Man, we shall properly do a night out today”, said he. How like-minded we were! So, we started after dinner at around 8pm.

It went well till about 11pm. Then the inevitable started happening. Taking turns, as if in a yawning competition, we started opening and closing our mouths at regular intervals. The internal bell rang indicating that it was time to go to ANC (The All-Night Canteen). After having a light snack at ANC, we returned at around 12am. I took out my book and resumed staring at it in regular intervals in between short naps in sitting position. Periodically Kesh poked me to make me realise this. There was a great struggle going on between my eyes and the book. Strange things started happening around me. At one moment I would be staring at my partner keenly going through the study material. My eyelids would close. And when they open again, he would be lying on the bed curled up in one corner. Then I would open my laptop and sign into my FB account.

Then there was this stupid moth that was buzzing around my ears annoying me for a long time. I took time out of my study schedule to corner that pest and have it smashed under my broom stick. Motherjane’s carnatic rock music kept me awake for sometime until food resources came from Kesh’s room. Hungry as we are, we emptied all the packets of biscuits and chips. By this time, it was nearly 5:30am. Somehow, I stupidly opened my gmail account and posted on Buzz, “My first ever academic night out in progress...” By that time, I had lost all hope that I would be able to finish reading the syllabus for the test.

It was 7am then, time to give to a concluding note to the night out. I dozed off.... The fight between me and the alarm clock started at 7:45am and went on till 8:15am, when I finally woke up to freshen myself and wake my dozing partner up as well. I came back to reality and looked at my watch. It was 9:45am, 5 minutes before the test concludes. I scribbled whatever I crap I knew gave the paper and came off...

The accident

"Would you prefer it in the hand or...", asked the doc. "Ya ya, the hand, you are right...", I replied hastily, as I didn't want him to punch a hole in my ass. "Ouch!!!", the tetanus injection pained a bit for a few seconds and then it was alright. With my elbow mummified, I went and took seat beside the doc. He started writing out the prescription of tablets and oinments. I gave him the consultation fees, thanked him and left the clinic.

A few days earlier, I had set foot on the rock city (that is how my hometown Tiruchirapalli is also known as) for my sister's marriage. I am a violinist and was supposed to play for a concert during the marriage reception. So, enthued, I set off with my violin on the TVS scooter and went straight to my music guru's house.

While coming back, I took a left turn after ABC road and entered XYZ road. Not even a single street light was on. It was completely dark except for the headlights of the vehicles that came in the opposite direction and were successful enough in blocking my vision beyond them. I knew that the road would be full of mad curves and bends.

I might have been going at around 50kph. I thought that it would be a good idea to switch my scooter's headlight on. I did and then I was on the ground. Because, as soon as I switched the headlight on, the first thing that I saw was an electric post about a foot away. I should have slowed down earlier. I applied the brakes with full force. The scooter started to skid, as I had turned right while trying to stop it. "Vrrrrrrr...", it fell down along with me. If not for the helmet, hell would have been met, may be!

I got up with great difficulty and felt pain in my left elbow and below the left palm. The elbow was bleeding and the palm was also bruised. I managed to get up and went straight to the doc.

Marks - My Destiny

You all do know the story of Julius Caesar. Given below is an extract of the story - the famous speeches of Brutus and Antony. After that, a comparision with BITSian life is made. Do compare each sentence of the speeches. Read and enjoy.

A point of note to all non-BITSians... The meanings of certain BITSian slangs used in this post have been explained hereby:

compre- semester exam
intrabits- intranet web portal in which bitsians can view marks
ACB- Academic Counselling Board : students whose performance is too poor will be sent to the ACB
I/C- Instructor in charge of a particular course
ghotu- one who studys a lot
CT- Course topper
sac- very easy
rod- very tough
makeup- retest for those who couldnt appear for the regular test

What has happened before:
Julius Caesar has been murdered. His close friend Mark Antony, in danger himself, wanted to revenge Caesar's death. He was able to convince Brutus, one of the conspirants, that they mustn't fear him. He got the permission to speak in public the memorial speech for Caesar:

Enter BRUTUS and CASSIUS, and a throng of citizens

Citizens : We will be satisfied; let us be satisfied.

BRUTUS : Then follow me, and give me audience, friends.

Cassius, go you into the other street,

And part the numbers.

Those that will hear me speak, let 'em stay here;

Those that will follow Cassius, go with him;

And public reasons shall be rendered

Of Caesar's death.

First Citizen :I will hear Brutus speak.

Second Citizen : I will hear Cassius; and compare their reasons,

When severally we hear them rendered.

Exit CASSIUS, with some of the Citizens. BRUTUS goes into the pulpit

Third Citizen : The noble Brutus is ascended: silence!

BRUTUS : Be patient till the last.

Romans, countrymen, and lovers! hear me for my

cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me

for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that

you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and

awake your senses, that you may the better judge.

If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of

Caesar's, to him I say, that Brutus' love to Caesar

was no less than his. If then that friend demand

why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer:

--Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved

Rome more. Had you rather Caesar were living and

die all slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live

all free men? As Caesar loved me, I weep for him;

as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was

valiant, I honour him: but, as he was ambitious, I

slew him. There is tears for his love; joy for his

fortune; honour for his valour; and death for his

ambition. Who is here so base that would be a

bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended.

Who is here so rude that would not be a Roman? If

any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so

vile that will not love his country? If any, speak;

for him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

All : None, Brutus, none.

BRUTUS : Then none have I offended. I have done no more to

Caesar than you shall do to Brutus. The question of

his death is enrolled in the Capitol; his glory not

extenuated, wherein he was worthy, nor his offences

enforced, for which he suffered death.

Enter ANTONY and others, with CAESAR's body

Here comes his body, mourned by Mark Antony: who,

though he had no hand in his death, shall receive

the benefit of his dying, a place in the

commonwealth; as which of you shall not? With this

I depart,--that, as I slew my best lover for the

good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself,

when it shall please my country to need my death.

Now, it is time for some fun. The BITSian story:

The comprees are going on. There was answer sheet distribution of a particular course. The paper correction and grading were tough. Marks Bantony was very much worried about the marks, because his friend Fulius Boozer had screwed the paper (he had seen marks on intrabits) due to which he becomes the first ACB candidate in BITSian history. Bantony had copied from him during the compre. He senses danger and wants to avenge his friend too. He was able to convince the I/C that he will address the students after the I/C does so.

Enter I/C, one more prof and a throng of students.

Students : We will be satisfied; let us be satisfied.

I/C : Then follow me, and give me audience, students.
Professor, go you into the other room,
And part the papers.
Those that belong to my section, let ‘em stay here;
Those that will follow the other prof, go with him;
And public reasons shall be rendered
Of the paper correction.

First student : I will go to the I/C’s room.

Second student : I will go to the other prof; and compare their marking schemes,
When severally we hear them rendered.

Exit prof, with some students. The I/C goes into the podium.

Third student : The useless I/C has ascended: silence, or else...

I/C : Be patient till the last ID number.
BITSians, college students, and ghotus! Hear me for my
Cause, and be silent, that you may hear all ID numbers: believe me
For mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that
You may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and
forget your thoughts that you may apply for recheck.
If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of
Boozer’s, to him I say, that my aversion towards Boozer
Was no less than any other I/C’s. If then that friend demand
Why I alone rose against Boozer, this is my answer:
--Not that I hated him the most, but that I loved
My course the most. Had you rather Boozer were to clear the course and
Send you to ACB, than that he were to be sent to ACB, for all
To clear the course? As Boozer hated the course, I weep for him;
As he was unfortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was taking it lite, I
Screwed him. There is tears for his attitude; joy for his
Misfortune; mockery for his attendance; and ACB for his
Marks. Who is here so base that would be an
ACB case? If any, speak; for him have I offended.
Who is here so rude that would not be the CT? If
Any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so
Vile that will not love this course? If any, speak;
For him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

All : LOLz... not at all dude, go on...

I/C : Then none have I offended. I have done no more to
Boozer than I may do to you. The question of
His probation is enrolled in the ACB; his grades
Withheld, wherein he wasn’t worthy, and his offences
Enforced, for which he was failed.

Enter Bantony and Boozer, with Boozer’s answer sheet

Here comes the answer sheet, mourned by Mark Bantony: who,
Having allegedly copied from it, shall receive
The benefit of it, a place in the
ACB; as which of you might not some day? With this
I depart,--that, as I failed the worst student ever for the
Good of BITS, I have the resignation letter for myself,
When it shall please the institution to need my resignation.

Ok, had a good laugh? Now, it's Antony's reply in the actual play:

Citizens discuss how true Brutus was. Brutus announces that Antony shall speak and asks the mob to remain silent till the end of his speech.

ANTONY : Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus

Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest--

For Brutus is an honourable man;

So are they all, all honourable men--

Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.

He was my friend, faithful and just to me:

But Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

He hath brought many captives home to Rome

Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:

Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?

When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal

I thrice presented him a kingly crown,

Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And, sure, he is an honourable man.

I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did love him once, not without cause:

What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,

And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;

My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,

And I must pause till it come back to me.

Back to BITSian speech now :

Bantony : Friends, BITSians, college-mates, lend me your brains
I come to screw up the comprees, not to crack them
The grades that students get live after them,
The ghoting is oft interred with their graduation,
So let it be with myself ... The noble I/C
Hath told you the paper shall be sac:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath I answered it ...
Here, under leave of the I/C and the rest,
(For the I/C is an honourable man;
So are all the profs; all honourable men)
Come I to speak during compre paper distribution ...
The course was tough, rod and hostile for me:
But the I/C says compre was sac;
And the I/C is an honourable man ...
I hath brought biscuits and snacks to the profs,
Whose tummies did the coffee and tea fill:
Did this in me seem like ghotitude?
When that the tests have come, I hath wept:
Ghotitude should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet the I/C says the compre was sac;
And the I/C is an honourable man.
You all did see on the eve of the test
I thrice applied for make-up,
Which he did thrice refuse: what the hell?
Reason the I/C says is the compre was sac;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I write not to prove what the prof taught me,
But here I am to write what little I do know.
You all did hate the course, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then to tear the answer sheets off?
O paper correction! Thou art fled to brutish profs,
And students have lost their marks... Bear with me;
My heart is in the answer sheet there with marks,
And I must pause till it comes back to me.

:)