The accident

"Would you prefer it in the hand or...", asked the doc. "Ya ya, the hand, you are right...", I replied hastily, as I didn't want him to punch a hole in my ass. "Ouch!!!", the tetanus injection pained a bit for a few seconds and then it was alright. With my elbow mummified, I went and took seat beside the doc. He started writing out the prescription of tablets and oinments. I gave him the consultation fees, thanked him and left the clinic.

A few days earlier, I had set foot on the rock city (that is how my hometown Tiruchirapalli is also known as) for my sister's marriage. I am a violinist and was supposed to play for a concert during the marriage reception. So, enthued, I set off with my violin on the TVS scooter and went straight to my music guru's house.

While coming back, I took a left turn after ABC road and entered XYZ road. Not even a single street light was on. It was completely dark except for the headlights of the vehicles that came in the opposite direction and were successful enough in blocking my vision beyond them. I knew that the road would be full of mad curves and bends.

I might have been going at around 50kph. I thought that it would be a good idea to switch my scooter's headlight on. I did and then I was on the ground. Because, as soon as I switched the headlight on, the first thing that I saw was an electric post about a foot away. I should have slowed down earlier. I applied the brakes with full force. The scooter started to skid, as I had turned right while trying to stop it. "Vrrrrrrr...", it fell down along with me. If not for the helmet, hell would have been met, may be!

I got up with great difficulty and felt pain in my left elbow and below the left palm. The elbow was bleeding and the palm was also bruised. I managed to get up and went straight to the doc.

Marks - My Destiny

You all do know the story of Julius Caesar. Given below is an extract of the story - the famous speeches of Brutus and Antony. After that, a comparision with BITSian life is made. Do compare each sentence of the speeches. Read and enjoy.

A point of note to all non-BITSians... The meanings of certain BITSian slangs used in this post have been explained hereby:

compre- semester exam
intrabits- intranet web portal in which bitsians can view marks
ACB- Academic Counselling Board : students whose performance is too poor will be sent to the ACB
I/C- Instructor in charge of a particular course
ghotu- one who studys a lot
CT- Course topper
sac- very easy
rod- very tough
makeup- retest for those who couldnt appear for the regular test

What has happened before:
Julius Caesar has been murdered. His close friend Mark Antony, in danger himself, wanted to revenge Caesar's death. He was able to convince Brutus, one of the conspirants, that they mustn't fear him. He got the permission to speak in public the memorial speech for Caesar:

Enter BRUTUS and CASSIUS, and a throng of citizens

Citizens : We will be satisfied; let us be satisfied.

BRUTUS : Then follow me, and give me audience, friends.

Cassius, go you into the other street,

And part the numbers.

Those that will hear me speak, let 'em stay here;

Those that will follow Cassius, go with him;

And public reasons shall be rendered

Of Caesar's death.

First Citizen :I will hear Brutus speak.

Second Citizen : I will hear Cassius; and compare their reasons,

When severally we hear them rendered.

Exit CASSIUS, with some of the Citizens. BRUTUS goes into the pulpit

Third Citizen : The noble Brutus is ascended: silence!

BRUTUS : Be patient till the last.

Romans, countrymen, and lovers! hear me for my

cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me

for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that

you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and

awake your senses, that you may the better judge.

If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of

Caesar's, to him I say, that Brutus' love to Caesar

was no less than his. If then that friend demand

why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer:

--Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved

Rome more. Had you rather Caesar were living and

die all slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live

all free men? As Caesar loved me, I weep for him;

as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was

valiant, I honour him: but, as he was ambitious, I

slew him. There is tears for his love; joy for his

fortune; honour for his valour; and death for his

ambition. Who is here so base that would be a

bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended.

Who is here so rude that would not be a Roman? If

any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so

vile that will not love his country? If any, speak;

for him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

All : None, Brutus, none.

BRUTUS : Then none have I offended. I have done no more to

Caesar than you shall do to Brutus. The question of

his death is enrolled in the Capitol; his glory not

extenuated, wherein he was worthy, nor his offences

enforced, for which he suffered death.

Enter ANTONY and others, with CAESAR's body

Here comes his body, mourned by Mark Antony: who,

though he had no hand in his death, shall receive

the benefit of his dying, a place in the

commonwealth; as which of you shall not? With this

I depart,--that, as I slew my best lover for the

good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself,

when it shall please my country to need my death.

Now, it is time for some fun. The BITSian story:

The comprees are going on. There was answer sheet distribution of a particular course. The paper correction and grading were tough. Marks Bantony was very much worried about the marks, because his friend Fulius Boozer had screwed the paper (he had seen marks on intrabits) due to which he becomes the first ACB candidate in BITSian history. Bantony had copied from him during the compre. He senses danger and wants to avenge his friend too. He was able to convince the I/C that he will address the students after the I/C does so.

Enter I/C, one more prof and a throng of students.

Students : We will be satisfied; let us be satisfied.

I/C : Then follow me, and give me audience, students.
Professor, go you into the other room,
And part the papers.
Those that belong to my section, let ‘em stay here;
Those that will follow the other prof, go with him;
And public reasons shall be rendered
Of the paper correction.

First student : I will go to the I/C’s room.

Second student : I will go to the other prof; and compare their marking schemes,
When severally we hear them rendered.

Exit prof, with some students. The I/C goes into the podium.

Third student : The useless I/C has ascended: silence, or else...

I/C : Be patient till the last ID number.
BITSians, college students, and ghotus! Hear me for my
Cause, and be silent, that you may hear all ID numbers: believe me
For mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that
You may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and
forget your thoughts that you may apply for recheck.
If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of
Boozer’s, to him I say, that my aversion towards Boozer
Was no less than any other I/C’s. If then that friend demand
Why I alone rose against Boozer, this is my answer:
--Not that I hated him the most, but that I loved
My course the most. Had you rather Boozer were to clear the course and
Send you to ACB, than that he were to be sent to ACB, for all
To clear the course? As Boozer hated the course, I weep for him;
As he was unfortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was taking it lite, I
Screwed him. There is tears for his attitude; joy for his
Misfortune; mockery for his attendance; and ACB for his
Marks. Who is here so base that would be an
ACB case? If any, speak; for him have I offended.
Who is here so rude that would not be the CT? If
Any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so
Vile that will not love this course? If any, speak;
For him have I offended. I pause for a reply.

All : LOLz... not at all dude, go on...

I/C : Then none have I offended. I have done no more to
Boozer than I may do to you. The question of
His probation is enrolled in the ACB; his grades
Withheld, wherein he wasn’t worthy, and his offences
Enforced, for which he was failed.

Enter Bantony and Boozer, with Boozer’s answer sheet

Here comes the answer sheet, mourned by Mark Bantony: who,
Having allegedly copied from it, shall receive
The benefit of it, a place in the
ACB; as which of you might not some day? With this
I depart,--that, as I failed the worst student ever for the
Good of BITS, I have the resignation letter for myself,
When it shall please the institution to need my resignation.

Ok, had a good laugh? Now, it's Antony's reply in the actual play:

Citizens discuss how true Brutus was. Brutus announces that Antony shall speak and asks the mob to remain silent till the end of his speech.

ANTONY : Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;

I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.

The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;

So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus

Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:

If it were so, it was a grievous fault,

And grievously hath Caesar answer'd it.

Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest--

For Brutus is an honourable man;

So are they all, all honourable men--

Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.

He was my friend, faithful and just to me:

But Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

He hath brought many captives home to Rome

Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:

Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?

When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And Brutus is an honourable man.

You all did see that on the Lupercal

I thrice presented him a kingly crown,

Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?

Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;

And, sure, he is an honourable man.

I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,

But here I am to speak what I do know.

You all did love him once, not without cause:

What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?

O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,

And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;

My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,

And I must pause till it come back to me.

Back to BITSian speech now :

Bantony : Friends, BITSians, college-mates, lend me your brains
I come to screw up the comprees, not to crack them
The grades that students get live after them,
The ghoting is oft interred with their graduation,
So let it be with myself ... The noble I/C
Hath told you the paper shall be sac:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath I answered it ...
Here, under leave of the I/C and the rest,
(For the I/C is an honourable man;
So are all the profs; all honourable men)
Come I to speak during compre paper distribution ...
The course was tough, rod and hostile for me:
But the I/C says compre was sac;
And the I/C is an honourable man ...
I hath brought biscuits and snacks to the profs,
Whose tummies did the coffee and tea fill:
Did this in me seem like ghotitude?
When that the tests have come, I hath wept:
Ghotitude should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet the I/C says the compre was sac;
And the I/C is an honourable man.
You all did see on the eve of the test
I thrice applied for make-up,
Which he did thrice refuse: what the hell?
Reason the I/C says is the compre was sac;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I write not to prove what the prof taught me,
But here I am to write what little I do know.
You all did hate the course, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then to tear the answer sheets off?
O paper correction! Thou art fled to brutish profs,
And students have lost their marks... Bear with me;
My heart is in the answer sheet there with marks,
And I must pause till it comes back to me.

:)

The Survey

Knock! Knock! "Who's that?" "It's me. Let's go for lunch" "Okay. Just a min..." Ani emerged out of his room quite reluctantly. Getting interrupted while watching a movie is one of the primary things that he hates in this whole wide world. "Why so early?", he said. "It's 1:15pm, man. The mess closes in about 15 minutes. Come fast..." "Wait, I shall call Chacha." "Okay. You call him and I shall call Kc." I went and called Kc. He was singing, "I like to move it, move it... I like to move it, move it..." "Ya we are gonna move, man - to the mess...", I reminded him.

So, me, Kc, Ani and Chacha marched to the mess at full speed, because it was about 1:25 when we started from our wing. There was that usual queue of about 20 to 30 people in the mess that was overflowing with BITSian junta who had just returned from classes. "Ya, great... My appetite's gone", I said.

Slowly, we managed to crawl through the hustling horde of students and got a plate. A mess worker served us the usual and boring dal and vegetable. I went lazily and peeped inside the hotpack to see a few burnt chapatis stuck at the bottom of it. I pulled one out of it. I took a cup of curd too.

We settled down at the last table in the mess hall and started tearing off bits of the so-called chapatis and eating. Chacha was lost in thoughts. He was processing something in his mind, surely upto something.

It was quite a hot day too. So, jugs and jugs of water were being consumed in the mess. Kc drank some from the jug which was there on our table and upon Chacha's request, passed it on to him. By this time Chacha was definitely upto something fishy.

He suddenly told Ani, "Take the jug of water and drink from it." Ani didn't trust Chacha in any manner that time. So, he refused to do so. "Arey, what is there in just drinking water from the jug, man?", smirked Chacha. I too found nothing wrong in it. "No, i won't", repeated Ani. He conveyed something to Kc secretly in his ears. And then Kc too smirked. Then Chacha turned towards me and asked, "Please, drink some water from the jug." I too had my doubts this time. Why on earth would he so dearly want us to drink water from the jug, given the fact that there was limited water inside it and it was closing time for the mess, due to which it is difficult to get one more jug of cold water?

I told Ani, "You can trust Chacha second to none" and drank water from the jug. Then, Chacha gave a bright smile. Now, I seriously felt that it is some sort of a prank I have fallen for. So, if I have got to be the clown, why should I be the only one to be so? I assuringly told Ani, "See, nothing happened to me. It is perfectly safe." So, he finally drank from it.

"Now, I shall tell you the results of my survey", told Chacha. Results! Survey! What the hell was going on around? "Basically, I conducted a small survey to rate the four of us starting from the strongest to the weakest, by means of observing the way they lift the water jug and drink water from it. Apparently, Kc turns out to be the strongest as he lifted the jug by its neck with a single and used a single hand while drinking water too. I turn out to be the second strongest amongst the four of us though I held the jug and drank water from using only one hand, I did with relative difficulty. Ani is the third strongest as he lifted the jug with one hand, but gave some support at the bottom of the jug while drinking water from it..."

I didn't want to hear the name of the weakest person, as it became obvious that it's me! I took my time, lifted the jug with both hands comfortably and drank from it...!!!

The Intruder

It was about 12:30 at night. "Aargh!", came a sound from Ani's room. He came running towards my room and knocked at the door. I quietly opened it and looked at him puzzled,"What's up, man?" "He's there... in my room...!", panted Ani. I thought that he might have been kidding. But, I could see the terror in his face. It must be something serious.

I rushed to the scene of the incident, Ani's room. The room was big enough for the intruder to go into hiding. I searched for about five minutes all alone (Ani didn't dare to enter his own room as the intruder scared the shit out of him). After five excrutiating minutes, I spotted him. Big, black and disgusting, he was lurking behind the bed, silently watching all the hustle going on around him.

I went back to my room, assuring him that I will safely exterminate the intruder from his room. The intruder was still unaware of our presence. He was too busy jumping here and there flapping his wings. I returned, well-equipped this time with a necessary weapon. I slowly lurked into the room, trying not to draw his slightest attention. I was all set to attack him and then he suddenly turned to my side. We exchanged anxious looks.

Thud! Too late... He had already jumped away from that place and sat comfortably over the bed. I didn't give up. Thud! - over the bed... He was sitting on the book rack... No over the metal trunk. Oh, my God! He had got company! Thud! - again... He had already teleported to Ani's head! Thud! followed by "Ouch!" and then "Oh! Sorry..." I was determined to finish them off that night. I dropped the broomstick, removed the chappal from my right foot and took it in my hand.

As the intruder's companion was trying to move silently under the trunk, I threw the chappal at him. Bull's eye! My chappal proved to be a more lethal weapon as he got trapped under it. Anger still burning in my eyes, I pursued the intruder with more confidence now. It was a one-on-one battle now. He was flying with more vigour than ever now. Soaring high in the air, he reached for the electric fan and suddenly, thud!, he hit the fan when it was running at full speed.

That's it, he was injured. Now was my chance to take revenge for the precious time I wasted on him and his stupid companion. I raised my chappal high in the air and was about to smash him, when Ani who had returned from the bogs (bathroom) came in shouting, "Noooooooooo........."

It was too late. The chappal was over the cricket which twitched for one last time and died. "I asked you to just drive it away and not to kill it", said Ani. "What the hell man?! I took so much pain to drive these insects away and you are cribbing that I should not have killed them, now." "Remember the term!", said he. "Oh! For God's sake, not PETI again...", I exclaimed.

PETI (People for the Ethical Treatment of Insects!) is an insect rights organisation based in Pilani, India led by its international president Mr. Ani. It is a non-profit corporation which is the largest (and the only!) insect rights group (!) in the world. As the founder of the organisation, Mr. Ani had sworn not to harm the intruder, eventhough he had been bothering him for quite a long time since he got back to his room.

"Anyway, it's all over now", I said. "Thanks, buddy!", replied he. "Oi! How about a game of counter strike?" It was about 1am, but who cares? "All right, let's rock and roll!"...

The Dark Age of Krishna New Wing

BOOM!!! The lights and fans suddenly got switched off. I heard the distinct voice of D, in a very tense tone, "Do you have power in your room?". I could sense that something was not right. Why the hell would he go on asking that to everybody in the wing? Then there was the knock at my door. D repeated the question which he put forward to Babe to me. I said, "Yes. Why what's wrong?". I turned to the other side of the wing to verify if it is the same state, but it wasn't. Ani and Kc were entertaining themselves in their rooms sitting in front of their laptops. There was power in their rooms. Then D turned towards me with a clumsy smile and said, "I did nothing." Apparently that was more than a confession.

"Explain", I demanded. D said, "I just plugged this spike box in the socket and it gave out sparks and... the power went off." Only me, D and Babe were like stranded in the middle of nowhere. It was about 12:30 in the night. Being budding engineers(!), we could figure out that the fuse wire got burnt due to overloading. But we were too afraid to touch the mains and change the wire. So, we decided to manage the first powerless night of the sem. It was hell, I tell you, particularly with all those bugs and other insects swarming the rooms. I couldn't even protect myself from the insects with a blanket, because I would be roasted if I do so in that heat. "Damn you, D", I muttered to myself and spent a sleepless night.

The next day went on normally. D had called the chowki to fix the problem. He changed the fuse wire and put a new one. A few days passed without much ado. Then, it happened again. BOOM!!! The same voice from the same person. This time I seriously thought it was a genuine power cut. I just tried to taunt D, but later on realised that you-know-what had happened again. Again it was about 1:00 in the night. D tried to justify what he did by saying that he atleast didn't get sparks this time when he plugged his charger, or whatever, in. This time we went to the chowki hoping that he would help us out and save us from spending another sleepless night with all those bugs and all. But, it was in vain. The chowki declared that nothing could be done at that time of the day. But, it was time for action from our side.

D wanted to prove himself right. He took out his chair and went to the bogs (common bathrooms). Anxious to know what he was up to, I followed him into the bogs. He opened the electric box above the switchboard. I warned him not to meddle with the switches, but he was determined to get power back that night. He surveyed the main switch of the wing with a what-does-this-button-do look and pulled it up. BOOM!!! "What the hell!", came SB's voice from a distance. Knowing what D was up for, Kc and Ani had already arrived at the place of incident. Seeing some activity in the bogs, SB too came. Knowing what was happening, he started swearing on D. D started taking out the fuses one-by-one and examining them, trying to find out which one was burnt. The fuses were so strongly plugged in that he called SB to pull them out. "Ah-ha!", he exclaimed when he found out which one that was. He also figured out the fuse for the bogs electrical line and exchanged that with the burnt fuse. CLICK! He switched on the mains and there was light in the whole wing.

We had to celebrate, not just the three of us, but also others of the wing, because if D had screwed it up, there would have been no power for the whole wing that night. But now, the bogs had no light. Babe particularly suffered a lot because of his frequent visits to the bogs every night. Even D realised that he couldn't pee in the dark every night. So, this was brought to the notice of the chowki and there was a happy ending to this episode of "The Dark Age of Krishna New Wing."!